Another Separation

I've realized that me not connecting with the American culture through social media is not the only type of alienation I have felt. Entering James Madison University has led me to believe that I have stepped into a world where I have alienated myself beyond anything I have ever experienced. I keep hearing how the majority of the students that go to JMU are white so I actually wanted to see the percentage and if it was true that white students dominant over minority students. Here's what I found...

2012 Statistics for JMU's total student body by race/ethnicity

15,820 white

821 Asian

788 Hispanic

780 Unknown

779 Black or African American

497 Two or More Races

359 Non-Resident Alien

54 Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander

29 American Indian /Alaska Native

JMU's ethnic diversity is below the national average.

B

As you can see, I have entered a school where the majority of the people that surround me are white. Being Asian, I am well aware of the dominant white culture that I have willingly entered myself into.  Back where I used to live, I felt that it was much more diverse than JMU is. I have 2/5 classes where I am the only minority. Not even just the only Asian. The ONLY non-white person. My mom was afraid I wouldn't have any friends when I chose to go to JMU because all my life I have had Asian friends up until college. Of course, she didn't really help me assimilate into the American culture when I was young. Although I thought it was important to keep my heritage, I never quite really felt accepted by the white community. Guess my way of growing up was too different than an American family's way of growing up.

Even in my own neighborhood at home, I didn't fit in. The majority of my neighbors were all white. It's not that I didn't get along with the kids, but it's not like they were my friends either. They always played with each other and would go to each other's houses but 1) I was never invited and 2) they never talked to me much. I don't know if it was because I am Asian or if it's because I acted too different to the point that they couldn't connect with me. I sure never connected with them. For example, my parents never pushed me to play any sports, but instead wanted me to learn musical instruments. On the other hand, my neighbors were the types of people that were tri-star athletes who played many different sports. Already there was a barrier between us. I even believe that some of my neighbors thought that my family and I were so different to the point that we weren't even human beings. I specifically remember one of the moms in my neighborhood asking me if my family had a dinner bell that was wrung to let everyone in the house know that dinner was ready. I have never heard of anything like that before and I was so confused as to why she asked me such a bizarre question. 

I never really felt the presence of being in a dominating white school until I went to a meeting for Boarderline, the skiing and snowboarding club at JMU. I came into this school accepting that I had to get out of my comfort zone and make friends that weren't all Asian, given the ethnic diversity at JMU. I didn't mind being surrounded by many white students, but the moment I entered that room with hundreds of kids there for the club meeting, I freaked. I almost had a meltdown because everyone in that club already had a group of friends who they were talking to and I realized that if I went on a skiing/snowboarding trip, I'd be the one skiing down the slopes by myself. Not that I couldn't make friends, but just the fact that I never really felt comfortable around white kids and that they already had their groups picked out was too overwhelming to me. That's when I realized that I might never connect with Americans because I myself am not an American. I am an Asian-American who was raised by Asian parents from Vietnam. I have the roots of an Asian culture inside of me that I grew up with and will never be able to shake off.